I’m d3press3d, sometimes I cry because I made a mistake that I'll forever regr3t -26 years old

I'm a 26 year old lady. I’m d3press3d, sometimes I cry because I made a mistake that I'll forever regr3t .

 I married a man as a result of pregnancy, no one was f0rced we agreed to marry willingly.

I made the biggest mistake because he had a child and I never wanted a man with a child because I grew up seeing what my step siblings did to us and mom.

I had already g0tten pregnant before the revelation and ab0rtion wasn't my thing so I decided to keep the baby and didn't want to end up as his baby mama because he brags about how he made the first woman “a born one”. 

I was 24 by then and pr3gnant as well so probably wasn't thinking straight.

After birth and marriage I decided to fully accept I'm married even though that wasn't the kind of man I wanted but I tried my best to make things work.

Now after marriage his baby mama would call at odd times I spoke about it but they rather ign0red me .

Hubby will compare our child to his..eii 

That wasn't all saying his first child gave him blessings and mine came to destr0y it .

When I ask for stuffs for our child he would tell me no money but let baby mama call , he will rush to provide it.

I endured all these with the hope that well my child is a female so maybe that's why he's behaving like that......

I took in my second child , when my baby was 9months how it happened I still can't fathom because I was on a method but it failed .

Heeee when I told chairman,he said why didn't I allow the doctors to ab0rt it before bringing him the news .

He insisted we ab0rt but I refused.

He said he wasn't having money but if it was another woman he would allow her give birth.

He even thr3aten3d me that during delivery something would happen to me and plenty issues.

At last he s@cked me from the house but later asked me to come back.

After birth of my second ,I told him to ap0logise for his words to my mom he said he owed no one apol0gy because after all he catered for the pr3gnancy. I regr3t getting entangled with such a man.

We don't even act as husband and wife. I’m always unhapppy and crrying because I’m wasting years on an unpr0ductive thing.

Now if I decide to leave which I'll because my heart can't bear the s@dness of this marriage,

1. how would I go about the div0rce (it was a court marriage)?

2. how do I cope with being a single mother of 2 children?

3. would I find love again and possibly marriage?

I f3ar I might not get someone to marry me with two children with the way men castig@te single mothers. Please drop your advice for me