I got pregnant for my boyfriend but I was not ready for a child so I decided to abort the baby against his wish

about 20 years ago, I got pregnant for my boyfriend but I was not ready for a child so I decided to abort the baby against his wish. 

He suspected my intentions and informed his parents who came to see my parents and that was how i kept the pregnancy till I gave birth. To be honest, it was not the case that I did not want the child however, it was because I never loved my boyfriend but was just after his money as the parents were rich.

 my dilemma now is that when the child turned 5, my in laws took him away from me when I got married and raised him until now so I hardly knew anything about him.My boyfriend then also warned me to stay away from the child since I wanted him aborted.

 Now it's over years I got married but not able to give birth and I wanted to see my child so arrangements were made.

 However, my son and I feel disconnected and he doesn't even wants to spend a day with me. I feel so hurt and sad within my soul, how can I get him over to my side so I can bond with him as his mother? Please advice is needed.